Back Off! (3)

So, two nights ago, this person called me. I don’t like picking calls from unknown numbers but sometimes, one can’t really tell who is who, so I try to do the best I can (imma gon’ install Truecaller now). From his utterances, he obviously knows me but he refused revealing info about himself even when I asked several times to know who I was speaking with. He kept making dry attempts at “surprise, surprise” and went on and on about my voice as if I care🙄. Ògbéni, I don’t know who you are!!!

This morning, an unknown number called again and since I didn’t bother to take a mental note two nights ago, I still couldn’t tell who was who. I picked. Na same guy. After making the usual comment about my voice, he said if I want to know who I’m speaking with, I should come to school area cos that’s where he is. In my mind, I was like, “Kí ló n se elêyí? What do I care?” I might be a ‘curious cat’ but such frivolity don’t piqué my curiosity. He didn’t stop there; he continued and said, “I feel like eating pounded yam and some kind of vegetable soup. Is it available?” Ayé mi🙆🏽‍. Am I bukataria or do I run a bed and breakfast facility? I kept my cool and politely answered, “No.”

He said, “Ehn?” Again, I replied, “No.” He said, “Okay bye” and cut the call. I wasn’t even pissed. I actually felt sweet relief because if he kept on and on, my patience would definitely wear thin and I might say something. Few minutes later, he sent a text message:

Is this person alright at all? Do I look like “edible catering”? What is wrong with some people? Zero etiquette! If somebody talks now, world pipu wee say something do elédè for ìpàkó. How do people come up with this kind of deluded thought process? King ko, servant ni. Silly being!

This guy and many like him need to attend special etiquette classes. I will kuku say my own bhet lemme coman be going sha. Ayam hungry, make I call “edible catering”😜.

© 2018 AyotundeElegbeleye
Jesus is LORD!

Hi. I'd love to read your thoughts on this post. Thank you.