ÈKÉTA OMO (Episode 13)

The adventures of Solape and her identical twin siblings Ololade and Omolola. She came 14 months after they were born and bear striking resemblance to them so she easily passes off as their triplet and ÈKÉTA OMO.
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(On campus. Omolola in the room. Solape enters)

Solape: Hi

Omolola: Hi

Solape: Wey your sister?

Omolola: She comot.

Solape: Okay. (sits on her bed)

Omolola: Did you call her?

Solape: Tani? Who?

Omolola: Madam perfume na. I gave you her number yesterday.

Solape: Ah, that one? Walahi, she dey mara!

Omolola: What happened?

Solape: She practically told me to get lost.

Omolola: What did you say to her?

Solape: I introduced myself as your sister and I tell her pe na me get the money wey she collect from you say I need am urgently make she please, pay you quick. I even dey beg the yeye geh only for her to tell me she has no business with me pe the matter dey between you two and she go pay when she get the money. She con cut phone for my ear on top that nonsense talk. She’s high on cheap ewedu, aswear.

Omolola: Hmm, na wah o. I don enter this one.

Solape: What will you do now?

Omolola: What can I do? I can’t fight o, shebi na person wey I see I go dey fight sef. She’s not been coming to class but she’s in town, I’m sure about that.

Solape: She dey skip class because she no wan pay money wey she owe?

Omolola: Not exactly. She’s used to skipping classes. She comes and goes at will. Na business full her head.

Solape: Your friend na truant? Is ga ju!

Omolola: Don’t start!

Solape: Okay o. So na like dat she go chop your money?

Omolola: She’ll pay me.

Solape: When? After rapture abi?

Omolola: Wo, iwo lo mo. Na you sabi. Month don nearly end, e remain few days. All I’m waiting for is my allowance, let me give Lolade her money and have some peace…eiiisssh.

Solape: Chai! There has to be a way to collect that money ke. E dey pain me sha.

Omolola: Hmm…

(Later in the day. Dave’s room. Solape knocks. Dave opens door)

Dave: Ms. Solape Harrison in the building. To what do I owe this honour? (gives Solape side hug)

Solape: If Mohammed does not go to the mountain, the mountain will come to Mohammed na. Na so we no see your green light since that time we had family dinner. Mummy yaff ask of you tire.

Dave: Don’t mind me jare, my project is consuming all my time and energy. How’s auntie? I promised to visit o but I haven’t been to the estate in a long while. See my life!

Solape: Auntie dey o. Pele. How’s the project coming along?

Dave: I’m trying my best sha. I have great expectations for it.

Solape: Good. The Lord is your muscle.

Dave: Amen o. (walks to the fridge) Do you care for malt?

Solape: Malt is fine.

Dave: (brings out malt from fridge, hands it to Solape) Twin sisters nko? How are they?

Solape: (smiles mischievously) Your girlfriends are doing fine.

(Laughter)

Dave: Imp! Will I ever be rid of your torment?

Solape: Nah cousin, not anytime soon.

(Laughter)

Solape: Speaking of girlfriend, what’s up na? Are you and Jennie up to something?

Dave: Nope. That ship sank already. It was never going to happen anyway.

Solape: Well, why? I thought all of that “inconsistent relationship” stunt was because of Molola.

Dave: It would seem so but that’s not the case. I know I messed up sha but the truth is that there wasn’t anything romantic between me and Jennie, at least, not on my part.

Solape: Wow. So why did you string her along, I mean, why did you make her believe you guys were dating? You really messed up, big time!

Dave: I know. The funny thing is that I didn’t ask her out at any time, it was more of an overhyped childhood friendship.

Solape: How so?

Dave: We’ve been very good friends since we were kids and we spent a lot of time together back then. For some reason, both families assumed a budding romance between us and endorsed it. For some reason, we played along.

Solape: I don’t think she was playing sha but can’t say the same for you, cousin.

Dave: (smiles) I actually thought it’d happen, at some point, that I’d eventually cross that friendship line to the other side, you know. I wanted it to happen sef; I waited for it to happen but it didn’t, it just didn’t.

Solape: I’m confused. Why did you want it to happen if you didn’t like her?

Dave: I didn’t say I didn’t like her na.

Solape: I mean you didn’t like her romantically.

Dave: Well, I’m a huge fan of romantic relationship premised on friendship and I hoped, at some point, that our friendship would somewhat progress in that direction but it didn’t happen for me. I’m sorry, I know I sound like a broken record but there was just no romantic inclination there. She’s my friend and I adore her but just as my friend, nothing more.

Solape: Chai, that’s complicated.

Dave: Yeah…it should not be, though.

Solape: Sure! It wouldn’t be if you had fessed up on time. She thought you guys were dating, she was actively dating you but you were on a different page and you knew that. Being on a different page is not a crime, no one can force you to feel what you don’t feel but playing along for so long is something to be crucified for.

Dave: Yeeee, Solape wan nail me to the cross, somebody save me.

(Laughter)

Dave: On a serious note, it’s not like I’m so averse to the idea and I guess that was why I waited, hoping it’d happen at some point till I realized that it’s not likely to ever happen and I had to face reality.

Solape: And you did that by falling for your cousins.

Dave: Omo, I messed up big time. What can I say? I didn’t know they were family na.

Solape: But wait o, why did you also approach Lolade? Wasn’t it Molola you really liked?

Dave: I liked Lade too but I was more drawn to Lola.

Solape: Issokay o, Mr. Loverboy.

(Laughter)

Solape: Your friendship with Jennie took a major hit sha. I hope you guys can at least salvage that.

Dave: We will, but first, I’ll have to appease the goddess of friendship.

Solape: Yes o, odikwa very imporrant.

(Laughter)

Dave: Wow! It felt good to share that. Thanks.

Solape: (smiles) My pleasure. (takes a final sip of malt) Choi, I don almost forget wetin bring me come here sha.

Dave: (laughs) You be aproko mama na, you can’t pass up a good gist. Wetin bring you come o?

Solape: Molola.

To be cont’d…

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