The adventures of Solape and her identical twin siblings Ololade and Omolola. She came 14 months after they were born and bear striking resemblance to them so she easily passes off as their triplet and ÈKÉTA OMO.
(At home. In the sitting room)
Ololade: (glances at the wall clock) Hmm, quarter-to-ten, they should be back by now. Molola, has Susan contacted you on whatsapp?
Ololade: Perhaps you should call her.
Omolola: I tried that already. I couldn’t reach her.
Solape: Haaa, I hope say dem never lost o.
Omolola: No be you send them on adventure spree?
Solape: So? Dem be pikins wey no sabi road ni?
Omolola: How you go take sabi road for where you never go before? Na so you dey quick sabi road?
Solape: That’s why she has phone ooo. She said she’d keep us posted, now she’s gone mute on us.
Omolola: Maybe her battery is flat. You should consider that before ranting upandan.
Solape: And you should stop barking. If you don’t have intelligent things to say, learn to shut your buccal cavity.
Omolola: You’re the one with low IQ. Ode.
Solape: Mumu. You’re always…
Ololade: (cuts in angrily) Enough! Make una shut up for once, haba! Something dey worry una. We have a guest, we don’t know her whereabouts at the moment and it’s getting very late. Instead of you to be concerned about that, you’re busy bickering at each other like rivals. Maybe una marry same husband ni, I no sabi. (hisses)
(Silence. After some minutes, Omolola’s phone beeps)
Omolola: (checks her phone) It’s her. She says they are fine and having fun.
Ololade: Tell her they need to head back NOW. It’s past bedtime and I’m not willing to keep vigil till they decide to return.
Solape: Abi. We have to stay awake because they’d call us from the security post to identify them.
Omolola: That won’t be necessary na. The security men have seen them come and go. They can identify them.
Ololade: Those on night shift didn’t see them, did they?
Omolola: You’re right o. Night shift had not started when they left.
Ololade: Ehen. Me wan sleep o.
Solape: Me too. They should start coming back now, biko.
Omolola: I’ll call her. (she dials Susan’s number) She’s gone off again. I can’t reach her.
Ololade: What the heck?!
Omolola: I’ll wait for them. You guys can go and sleep.
Ololade: You sure?
Ololade: Okay then. (to Solape) Hanty, oya, let’s go to your room. (to Omolola) Tell Susan to sleep in my room.
Solape: Good night.
Omolola: Good night.
(In the morning. Solape in the kitchen fixing breakfast. She finds empty bottles of liquor as she attempts to drop egg shells in the dustbin. She calls Ololade).
Ololade: (enters kitchen) What?
Solape: (points to the dustbin) See what I found?
Ololade: Are those what I think they are? Didn’t they have enough to drink where they went?
(Omolola walks in)
Ololade: (to Omolola) Did you know about this? (points to the bottles in the dustbin)
Omolola: (surprised expression) No o. I went to bed as soon as they came in and I showed Susan to your room. (goes to inspect the bottles and finds an empty sachet of drugs).
Solape: What’s that?
Omolola: (holds it up and reads the inscription) Ultram.
Solape: Ewo tun ni Ultram? Which one is Ultram again? What kind of drug is that?
Ololade: There’s only one way to find out. Google. (Ololade goes to the room to get her phone. She returns to the kitchen and searches for Ultram on google) Oh my God! What in the world am I reading?
Omolola: What is it?
Ololade: You guys won’t believe this! That’s a sachet of Tramadol!!!
Omolola: Holey Moley!
Solape: Repeat am. Trama-gini?
Ololade: Tramadol is the generic name and it’s sold under the brand name Ultram. Other brand names are Conzip, Rybix ODT, and Ultram ER.
Ololade: I don’t like this one bit. What kind of nonsense is that nau? They should have kept their shenanigans out of this space. She will hear it from me this morning! (storms out of the kitchen to her room where Susan is supposedly sleeping)
Solape: Molola, you see your guest?
Omolola: Don’t start!
Solape: Mum will freak out if she hears this.
Omolola: Who will tell her?
Solape: Oro ta ni ki baba ma gbo, baba lo ma pari e. At this rate, na she go still intervene for this matter.
Omolola: Ko le t’oyen. E no reach that levu. We can handle it.
Solape: Issokay. Hostess to badt.
Ololade: (returns to kitchen looking pissed) Guess what?
Solape: Ki lo tun de o?
Ololade: Susan didn’t sleep in my room sha.
Omolola: Where did she sleep?
Solape: Ibeere. Guest room, of course!
Omolola: You can’t be so sure. She might have gone to the guest room just this morning.
Ololade: Well, no one slept on that bed.
Omolola: She probably made the bed before stepping out of the room.
Ololade: (smiles) Even you don’t believe that because as identical as we are, you don’t know how to make my bed the way I do it, not to talk of a “stranger”. If she slept in my room, I’d know, even if she made the bed cos I’d spot the difference. That bed is exactly as I left it yesterday.
Solape: Hmm, awon ti melancholy.
Ololade and Omolola: (in unison) Shut up.
Ololade: Her stuff isn’t in the room either. If she slept there, something of hers would be there, at least.
Solape: In short, this na hotel and we are attendants. Na wah o.
Ololade: It’s annoying, the way she’s taking advantage of mum’s absence.
Omolola: What do we do?
Solape: We set her straight na ni. If she wants to catch untamed fun, this is not her stop.
Ololade: I agree.
(Susan chooses that moment to walk in)
Susan: (with bubbly voice) Good morning, girls. Hope you all slept well.
(Three pairs of eyes bore into her)
To be cont’d…
© 2019 AyotundeElegbeleye
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