Alaran seemed indifferent about her infertility. He went about life as usual, caring for her and giving her everything he could.
At first, she considered it a blessing that her husband did not give her grief over the matter – her mother was enough pain in the neck – but the more he showed indifference anytime she tried convincing him about visiting the clinic for further consultations aimed at finding a solution, the more worried she became. Sometimes, it felt like he was not interested in having children with her.
“I feel like I am here just as a trophy wife,” she told him one evening. They had just finished another business in the other room.
“Why is that?” He queried. “Where did such thought come from?”
“I am not pregnant,” she moaned. “It is almost a year and I have not been able to get pregnant.”
“I am not complaining, am I?”
“That is it!” She jumped from the bed. “You are indifferent. You are not bothered. You do not care if I get pregnant or not.”
Alaran sat up, looking bewildered. What came over her?
“My love, why are you saying those things? You know they are not true.”
“I do not know that! You have been less concerned about me getting pregnant in this house. You already have children and you do not care for more. You do not care if I have children or not.”
He stood up, approached her carefully, then touched her gingerly. Her muscles were taut.
“My special one,” he moved closer, “please, do not say that to me.”
She shrugged his hand off.
He reached for her. “Please, relax. Let us talk about this.” He touched her again. Her muscles had relaxed a bit and sensing her receptivity, he pulled her into his arms. As expected, the dam broke and tears flowed in torrents.
Alaran did not try to stop her. He rested her head on his chest and let her cry to her heart’s content while saying soothing, endearing words to her. Being a veteran, he knew just how to calm her nerves. When the tears stopped flowing, he moved to the edge of the bed, sat her on his laps, and continued washing her with soothing, endearing words of assurance.
They moved on from that episode and life was back to normal. However, Alaran’s assurance, as good as it was, did not put her at ease. With the way he cared for her, one would think he would move heaven and earth to find a solution to her predicament. He did not show enough enthusiasm as far as she was concerned. Her friend told her not to brood over it. “It is a blessing in disguise. If you know how some men frustrate their wives over this, you will be thanking God for your husband,” she said.
A part of her wanted to believe the “blessing in disguise” point of view but she was not quite convinced. Alaran’s demeanor made it impossible. There was that time when she thought she might be pregnant because her period, which was never late, decided to play tricks on her. When “grandma red” did not visit for a couple of days, she concluded she was pregnant. Before she shared the news with Alaran, she had imagined his excited reaction – how he would jump for joy, swirl her around, and call a family meeting to announce the wonderful news – but none of that happened.
He simply told her to confirm with a test so as not to raise false hopes. He was right but he could at least show some hopeful excitement. He did not. When the result came back negative, he remained indifferent. He did not even pretend to be sad.
To be cont’d…
© 2020 AyotundeElegbeleye
Jesus is LORD!