The adventures of Solape and her identical twin siblings Ololade and Omolola. She came 14 months after they were born and bear striking resemblance to them so she easily passes off as their triplet and ÈKÉTA OMO.
(On campus. Hostel. Ololade relaxes on the bed. Solape enters the room)
Solape: Thanks. How far?
Ololade: I dey. How Jane?
Solape: Jane dey o. Hmm, you won’t believe what my ears heard today!
Ololade: What did you hear?
Solape: Where’s Molola?
Ololade: She stepped out few minutes ago.
Solape: Will she take long?
Ololade: How should I know? She didn’t tell me how long she’d be gone.
Solape: Ha, she’s the centerpiece of this gist o.
Ololade: Ki lo sele? What happened?
Solape: Don’t worry. Let her come first. I will download every every for you.
(Two hours later. Omolola returns)
Omolola: E kuule o. Hallos.
Solape: If we no ‘kuule’ nko? You no wan return again?
Omolola: What rubbish talk is that? You send me errand? Onibaje. Spoiled brat. Is that how they respond to greeting in your hamlet?
Solape: Yes na, you forgot it is your hamlet too.
Ololade: Oya, she has come. Download gist, abeg.
Omolola: What gist? E tun ti n gbeborun abi? Aproko no go kill una.
Ololade: Shioor. As if you no do aproko pass.
Omolola: Me ke? (flips hand in Solape’s direction) That’s her area of specialization.
Solape: Thank you, thank you. I wear my aproko badge with pride. Una wan hear tori or not?
Ololade: My ears are attentive.
Omolola: I’m listening.
Solape: Ehen, now you’re talking. Guess who is dating Jane’s sister!
Omolola: Ki lo kan wa? Wetin be our own for the matter?
Ololade: Good kwesion. How e take consain us?
Solape: You will soon find out. Just take a wild guess.
Ololade: Abeg, talk wetin you wan talk. What wild guess is that? We don’t even know Jane’s sister.
Omolola: I tire.
Solape: Okay o. I will talk the talk. Brace yourselves.
Omolola: Brace ourselves for gini? (short hiss) Wo, stop wasting my precious time with your silliness jooor.
Solape: Eh yah, I feel sorry for you. If only you knew…
Solape: Your boo has a boo.
Ololade: (adjusts her sitting position) Mi o gbo. Come again.
Solape: I said your one and only Dave has been dating Jane’s sister for yonks.
Ololade: Iro ni! Na lie o, abi?
Solape: I wish. I first found out from Jane. I even saw pictures. Not only that, we bumped into Dave and he couldn’t deny it.
Ololade: Osanobua! What a sly fellow!
Solape: Shey! And to think say una dey drag am between unasefs.
Ololade: I no follow anyone drag anybody, biko. I don sign out tay tay.Thank God say I borrow myself brain…eiiiish!
Omolola: Sooo…is this the hot gist? Na why you no gree make we hear word be dis?
Solape: Are you okay? Did you hear any word of what I just said? Dave has a girlfriend.
Omolola: Don’t you mean, “had a girlfriend”?
Omolola: Stale news. I already know about his ex. I didn’t know it was Jane’s sister sha but that’s not my business.
Solape: Ex gini? When did that happen? Now abi seconds ago?
Omolola: Ibeere. Ask me again.
Solape: By the way, how did you come about the information?
Omolola: He told me.
Solape: When was that? (sudden realization) Ooooh, now I understand. You went to see him abi?
Ololade: You’re probably right. She left after receiving a call.
Omolola: Is there a crime in that?
Solape: Don’t you get it? He called to quickly tell you so you won’t hear it from me. Stay woke, sis!
Omolola: I still wonder what crime he’s committed. He told me, that’s all that matters. And when has it become a crime to have an ex? Are you making so much noise because the ex is Jane’s sister? What has that got to do with anything? It could have been anybody!
Solape: O ma se o. Pity. You still don’t get it. Jane’s sister is not an ex, at least not yet. They are still in a relationship. (rolls eyes) He called it “inconsistent”.
Omolola: He’s ending the relationship.
Ololade: Good question.
Omolola: You people should stop stressing me. I am aware of the situation. He told me the relationship is as good as nonexistent and he’s calling it quits asap. I believe him and that’s enough for me.
Ololade: My own issue is that it took Solape finding out for him to tell you. If she didn’t find out this way, he’d have kept stringing you along and you’re here defending him. Na wah for you o.
Omolola: Abeg, it’s not that deep. Let it go! Besides, I haven’t even officially agreed to date him so there, it can wait till he sorts himself. Can I breathe some fresh air now?
Ololade and Solape: (in unison) Better!
To be cont’d…
© 2018 AyotundeElegbeleye
Jesus is LORD!