ÈKÉTA OMO (Episode 12)

The adventures of Solape and her identical twin siblings Ololade and Omolola. She came 14 months after they were born and bear striking resemblance to them so she easily passes off as their triplet and ÈKÉTA OMO.
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(On campus. Solape, Ololade, and Omolola in the room)

Solape: Yelz, daiz me. Now that we have established that I’m the chief Aproko of this room, can I hear the gist?

(laughter)

Omolola: It’s not much of a gist sha. A friend needed money urgently and I borrowed some from Lolade to augment what I had on me.

Solape: You borrowed money to lend someone else, who does that?

Ololade: Your sister, Molola!

Omolola: Shut up!

Ololade: Come and shut it for me.

Omolola: It’s not your fault na. I’ll get your money for you and this stupid harrassment will stop.

Ololade: O better.

Solape: Stop it, you two. (turns to Omolola) Ehen why has this friend not paid back, jare?

Omolola: If you ask me, na who I go ask? It’s been one excuse or the other. Lately, I’ve not been able to reach her on phone and I’ve not seen her either.

Solape: Haaa, one chance niyen ke. Yalf enter one chanlze (laughs).

Omolola: It’s not funny!

Solape: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you. Bhet err, next time, just give spare money you can afford to do away with, not what will give you palpitations if not paid back and if you can’t afford to do away with spare money, it’s not by force to lend someone money o. Owo ti o si, jedijedi kan o le gba. You can’t give what’s not available.

Ololade: Don’t mind her. Na yeye friendship she dey do. Ask her if this Vivian person is a close friend sef. Na just ‘perfume customer’ dem be o, no be say dem be very good friends like that.

Solape: Perfume customer?

Ololade: Ehn nau, the Vivian lady sells perfume and Molola is her ‘regular customer’, o tan o. Finish. Ojo wo na bere love ti won n kiss? I don’t know when they started friendship wey ‘borrow borrow’ don enter am.

Omolola: We’re in the same class if you must know.

Ololade: Does being in same class translate to automatic friendship? (turns to Solape) Ngbo, are you friends with everyone in your class?

Solape: Well, maybe dem don become friends…you know, as classmate and regular customer consain.

Ololade: If I hear! Even if they are friends, which I doubt, they are not close enough for Molola to lend her such money and even borrow on her behalf. Hian!

Solape: In fact, na that one pain me pass! Why on earth would you incur debt on another’s behalf, especially someone you can’t completely vouch for? Nobody does that ke!

Omolola: Have you two finished? You can crucify me all you want but what’s done is done so ke gbe gbogbo enu yin soun if you don’t have any help to give. Just keep your opinions to yourselves and let me sort myself out.

Ololade: How? By borrowing more?

Omolola: Lolade, stop! I’ve had enough of your jabs and subtle insults. Na only money I borrow o, I no kill somebody. Let me be, abeg. I will give you your money and that’s that. If e no do you, come carry me do ritual, abi wetin sef? (hisses)

Solape: Haba, e never reach like that nau, oya ma binu. No vex. (turns to Lolade) You too, e don do. Be kind to a sister in distress. By the way, how much are we talking about sef?

Ololade: My own abi her own?

Solape: Let’s start with the total amount.

Omolola: 50k. I borrowed 20k to add to the 30k I had with me.

Solape: 50 what? How much is your monthly allowance that you have so much money to spare?

Omolola: I didn’t say all that money came from me, did I?

Solape: I didn’t say you said all that money came from you, did I? I’m not deaf, I heard you right. Even at that, 30k is a lot, why did you need to borrow extra?

Omolola: Because she requested for 50k, duh!

Solape: And I suppose you’re Microfinance Bank, huh? Alajo Shomolu (rolls eyes).

Ololade: (laughs out loud) Abeg, make una no kee me with laughter o.

Solape: Abi nau. When no be say madam perfume contributed ajo for her hand. (to Omolola) Did she put a gun to your head? She requested 50k and you, being the generous donor that you are, felt you needed to grant her request by giving her all your spare money and even borrowing to add more? I never see this kin thing eee.

Omolola: It was a loan meant to be paid back! It’s not my fault that you have a poor grasp of grammar.

Solape: Neither is it my fault that you have a poor grasp of discernment.

Ololade: Ah, it’s not her fault na, Solape. It was actually a case of one good turn deserves another. Prior to that time, madam perfume had “benevolently” given your sister a bottle of cheap perfume. She knew what she was up to. She played her game wella.

Omolola: What is this one saying?

Solape: I see. So na trade by barter tinz? Issokay, o ti ye mi. I understand.

Omolola: (hisses) It’s like I will leave this room for you two. Nonsense!

To be cont’d…

© 2018 AyotundeElegbeleye
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