The adventures of Solape and her identical twin siblings Ololade and Omolola. She came 14 months after they were born and bear striking resemblance to them so she easily passes off as their triplet and ÈKÉTA OMO.
(At home. Susan with Austin in the guest room. Solape knocks the door)
Solape: Just came to announce that lunch is ready. You guys can come to the dining table.
Susan: Oh, okay. Err, could we have lunch in the room? Please?
Solape: No probs but you have to come get it yourself.
Susan: Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.
(At the dining table)
Susan: Something smells nice here. What are we having?
Solape: Nah…not just jollof…badass jollof…specially prepared for you and Austin.
Omolola: Yeah, true that. She makes great jollof.
Solape: (makes knuckle sign) Chop knuckles jare, my sure sisto.
Susan: (giggles) I’m sure it’s great and all, I mean, the aroma is very inviting but, err, umm, I was kinda expecting, you know, for afternoon, something heavy, you know, like okele (giggles).
Susan: I mean I thought lunch would be something in the neighbourhood of pounded yam or at least poundo yam with some badass vegetable soup, you know. We are Africans, right? I think Austin won’t mind having that too. Jollof is fine for dinner. (smiles)
Solape: (smiles sweetly) Oh, how lovely that you’re still in tune with your Africanness.
Susan: I know, right?
Solape: (giggles) Yes, you do…and there’s something else you should know…
Ololade: Err, Solape…
Solape: (puts a finger up in Ololade’s direction) I got this. (turns to Susan) Ehen, there’s vegetable soup in the freezer and I’m sure it’s badass cos mum made it.
Susan: (claps gleefully) Yay, that’s what I’m talking about, girl. I’ll just head back to the room and let Austin know we’re waiting some more. I should come back in about 30 minutes, right?
Solape: Actually, I wasn’t quite finished. (smiles) I was about telling you that there’s poundo yam flour too. Everything you need is available, help yourself.
Solape: Yes sis, feel at home. You can enter anywhere in this house, including the kitchen.
Susan: (giggles nervously)
Solape: Erm…you do know how to cook, right?
Susan: Of course, I know how to cook.
Solape: Well then, knock yourself out, sis.
Ololade: (to Susan) Solape is right, though. You might really want to make that poundo yam yourself cos if she makes it for you, it might fall below expectation…you know, texture and all.
Solape: What’s this one saying? (rolls eyes)
Susan: Err, it’s okay, girls. Let me see Austin. I’ll be back.
Omolola: (to Solape) You’re such a bad hostess. You couldn’t even indulge her for one day. Na wah for you.
Solape: Yen, yen, yen, yen, yen. Hanty indulgence, what stops you from entering the kitchen? Do I look like your chef?
Ololade: Let’s be serious…if mum were here, would she be picky?
Solape: Help me ask o. You be guest and you dey dictate wetin you wan chop. Na hotel? For some hotel sef, na wetin dem serve you as complimentary meal you go take…or leave it. I’m not feeling her, abeg.
Omolola: Well, she’s still our guest. She’s not going to be here forever, we can at least try to make her stay a little less dreadful.
Ololade: Madam solicitor, nothing stops you from taking her order. Biko, enter kitchen.
Solape: Gbam! Guest sef should make our lives less stressful. Hian!
(Susan returns after some minutes)
Susan: Hi babes. Do you have drinks in the refrigerator?
Omolola: Yes, there’s a variety of soft drinks in there.
Susan: Oh no, I mean liquor. Austin doesn’t take soft drinks.
(The sisters exchange glances)
Susan: You know, too much sugar isn’t good for guys and stuff. (giggles)
Omolola: Ooookay, but sorry, we don’t have liquor.
Ololade: We don’t take liquor.
Susan: Oh, wow.
Solape: Yes, we’re ‘wow’ like that. (smiles)
Ololade: Is that what you’re having for lunch now? I thought you went to talk to Austin about lunch and came back to sort it out.
Omolola: Yeah, jollof is still available.
Susan: He says he needs something to drink first.
Solape: You guys can actually take a romantic stroll out of the Estate, you’ll find all you’re looking for somewhere down the street. Food, liquor, anything you want and exactly how you want it.
Susan: We could do that but I don’t even know my way around this area.
Solape: Adventure is part of travel, sis. You can’t get lost, the Estate is popular.
Omolola: I can show you around, if you don’t mind.
Susan: That’d be nice, thanks. Let me talk to Austin. I’ll get back to you soon.
Ololade: Does she have to seek Austin’s consent every time?
Omolola: She can’t make decisions for him na.
Solape: It doesn’t seem like she can make decisions for herself gan. Austin this, Austin that. Issa wawu.
Omolola: Mind your business, aproko.
Solape: Same to you, google map.
Omolola: I’ll give you a dirty slap one of these days, then you’ll know how to talk to your elders.
Solape: What are you waiting for? Please, don’t procrastinate, tomorrow is too late. Come and give the dirty slap now, then you’ll know how WW2 started.
Ololade: Don’t you two ever get tired? Shiooor.
Susan: Yes, but don’t worry, Austin says we can find our way around. (to Solape) Thanks girl, for suggesting this. It’s an opportunity to catch some outdoor fun. We’ll probably be back for dinner or we may decide to eat dinner out. I’ll keep you all posted on whatsapp.
Solape: No qualms, sis. Have fun.
(Austin comes out of the room, says hi to the sisters and leaves with Susan)
To be cont’d…
© 2019 AyotundeElegbeleye
Jesus is LORD!